Mosh News - Wednesday 11 April

Lily isn’t a Victim

‘LDN is a Victim’, a ‘not as clever as it thinks’ parody of Kate Nash and Lily Allen’s middle class sensibilities has come under fire from Lily herself. ”So what if we’re middle class? Just cause your mum was too lazy to get her fat ass off the sofa and make some cash. I shouldn’t be able to make tunes” quipped the normally shy and retiring popstrel.



Flicking the Bird

Remember the days when they took canaries down the mines? Well that may be preferable to living with Keith Richards. The prune faced rocker apparently once threw Ron Wood’s son Jamie’s pet canary out a window having mistaken it for an alarm clock. I know how he feels; I’ve been pointing tourists seeking Big Ben to the penguin enclosure for years.

Mosh News - Thursday 5 April

Don’t Cry For Me

Never one to shirk from jumping on a bandwagon, Madonna has embraced the new rave scene by crying tears of neon. Graffiti artists defaced a UK billboard by cutting out her eye and pouring lurid green paint through the hole. The Klaxons immediately admitted defeat and withdrew their album from the charts.



Green Day in the Nursery

Have Green Day in your window box. The alternative 90’s punks who turned mainstream have had a plant named after them by a Swiss botanist. Macrocarpaea dies-viridis is a willowy plant wearing too much eyeliner…(I’m guessing here)

Mosh News - Monday 2 April

Paris' Eyeful Tower

Failed pop star and crash test dummy Paris Hilton is alledged to have had her assests expanded. I met her at a backstage party at the UK Wireless festival last year and those two were definately not on the guestlist.





Festival Gets Flooded

Glastonbury sold out at the weekend in 90 minutes. The 260,000 who failed to secure tickets will get a second chance on 22 April. But please be aware if you do buy a ticket you will have to listen to The Who. You have been warned.




World's Dullest Annoucement

EMI and Apple's highly anticipated announcement today amounted to be nothing more than a releasing of DRM across"some" tracks. The tracks will also be of a better quality...how about Beatles quality? huh? any day now would be fine?!




Dr Love Machine

8.9 million people tuned in to see Dr Who's new assistant on the BBC at the weekend. Quite frankly the figure would have doubled had they gone with our suggestion of Girls Aloud's Cheryl Cole. We're going to start hounding Popjustice and Dr Who Forums and make this a reality...just see if we don't!

Mosh News - Friday 30 March

Wild Wood Sap

Utterly pointless purveyour of second rate dad rock, Paul Weller (He of, I'm keeping all the Jam money fellas, fame) spat on the police. Well not the police as such, but a photo of Sting. Weller said of the poster "He’s a f**king horrible man. F**king rubbish. No edge, no attitude, no nothing"

Are you sure it wasn't a mirror Paul?

Mosh News - Monday 26 March

The Tooth Fairy Needs Rehab

Volcanic hair mountain and full time alcho-prop Amy Winehouse has stated her cancelled London shows were due to her falling over when drunk and losing a tooth. Other show cancelling moments include vomiting side stage at G.A.Y and having a hissy fit at her boyfreind at the BRIT school. Just try making her go to Rehab.




When I Grow Up

What's in your Garabage? Shirley Manson (that's her on the left) is the new poster child for PETA. Like many untrained animals Shirley once squatted on a record execs desk leaving a small puddle behind in the name of PR...her record deal followed soon after.





All That Glitters

Paul Gadd (aka Gary Glitter, shamed and exiled former glam star) has allegedly netted £200,000 from a sync deal. Those among the general public who feel he should be subject to the death penalty should note that Gary retains the copyright on all his songs until 70 years after his death, and although banished from UK airwaves he still recieves hundreds of thousands of pounds from US airplay.

Mosh News - Wednesday 14 March

Viaing to Sue Tube

Viacom is sueing Youtube for $1Billion over copyright infringement. Viacom claim that almost 160,000 unauthorised clips of its programming have been available on YouTube and have been viewed more than 1.5bn times. You Tube said "Nurr nurr, na nurr nurr, catch us if you can..Suckers!" (or something very similar)




Yours Twoly Angry Mob

The Kasier Chiefs will release an album of completely new material next month, apparently recorded at the same time as their current album. "It will be a fans-only album and we'll probably release it on our own label" said bassist Simon Rix.





Bleeding Boy Band

Fall Out Boy are to create tarot cards out of their own blood as part of a drive to increase blood donors in the US. then 45 designs made using blood and a mixture of red ink will be given out at future gigs.





Sugarloud Set For Number 1

Sugababes and Girls Aloud's charity cover of Aerosmith's Walk This Way looks set to top the UK chart this weekend. which is good news for Comic Relief and Charity and the like..but bad news for Girls Aloud as this is sooo their weakest song ever.
Here's hoping their collaboration with Arctic Monkeys isn't also something worth walking away from.